Stars…. So many of them… 3:15 a.m.…. Zangakatun calm night. I am looking at them. So many of them. I am looking and I can not help myself admiring. Never in my whole life I have seen so many of them. There is a story behind each star. Which star does hold the story about me? It must be the star, which is shining brighter and sadder. Bright as my life from outside and sad as I am. That star must tell about disappointments, straggles, fears forgotten in a dark room, tears behind each closed door. It must tell about the friendship which sunk somewhere in the middle of the ocean. And it also tells about forgotten love and about forgotten face and smell of it. It will tell about big road, about the road which, I dream, to lead me home one day. It will tell about my phone with always activated roaming service. I dream so much, so many things. Ah… A star is falling. This is the first time that I see falling star. And here is the second. I am amazed. And what does it cover?
I am looking at the stars. And another question flashes in my mind. Which star is telling about you? I guess it will be the one which is happy or is sleeping at least like you now. For sure that star must be a great liar. It must be the star which I will never see, in front of which I have closed all the ways in my heart.
And here is the Moon. You know I have always wanted to be your Moon, as I have always wanted to be the light in your dark day. And I always considered you to be my Sun. Yes! You were. You were warming me. And one day you shone so bight that my wings were burnt. You even did not notice it. But it is not important any longer. Something unreal and fantastic is going on around me now. I can admire the stars which may be I will never be able to see again. My heart is open, my soul is relaxed. I can only dream now about the happy face lost somewhere in the far and about the happy day living in my soul. The last and the happiest day of my life was a rainy day with frozen feet. And the most relaxed one is a calm night in Zangakatun with lots of calm thoughts. My life consists of controversial item, but it is my life. It is a hard line for me to walk, but I will.
Years later every day looking at the stars I will recall this night and will feel teh small of the best summer night ever.